Moving out. Flying the nest. Entering the life of self-preservation. Whatever term you use for the big old milestone of leaving the family home, it’s a topic I don’t feel is discussed enough. I feel like we all know the basics of it, right? I’m not going to teach you to suck eggs, but it’s drilled into us that it’s ‘Move out, pay bills, dislike paying bills, repeat’ until we die. My mum always says “but you used to say you would always live with your Mummy forever” and now I absolutely want to pretend I’m 7 years old again with zero responsibilities other than blowing bubbles in jelly and learning to use a hair dryer.
Jokes aside, moving out is a really big deal for many of us. There’s a select few that can pack their bags without looking back and immerse themselves into life alone, with friends, with a partner etc. I’ve found it a bit tough, mainly because I was prepared, but more physically than emotionally/mentally. So with that, I wanted to share 5 things I’ve loved and 5 things I’ve loathed about moving out, in the hopes of shedding some light if you’re moving out too.
My backstory: In a nutshell, I was perfectly content living at home, but knew I wanted the independence of moving out one day. Until I got with my boyfriend, moving out was not on the horizon. However, after dealing with a semi-long distance relationship for over a year, I decided to move into the house my boyfriend lives in with 2 of his friends – again, which was never a plan on the horizon. Situations change and it was an easy way to immerse myself into paying bills only 40 minutes away from my family home. I was made redundant too so started a new job at the same time – double the fun. It’s nearing the 6 month mark of living away now, and after plenty of weekends back at home – I do still have a stumble.
5 Things I’ve Loved
- Being with my partner. As he is the main reason I moved away, it’s been really nice to enjoy what we were so looking forward to. Being able to talk about our days in person and not have to worry about saying goodbye has been wonderful. So many amazing memories have been made, with many more to come.
- Having a bigger room. I had a good sized room at home that fit me just right, but the room I’m in now fits us (both) and our stuff nicely. I do miss having a proper desk, but sacrifices need to be made.
- Cooking my own meals. I really do miss home cooked meals and sitting at a table, but being able to choose your dinner or get a cheeky takeaway whenever you feel like it is a treat. We’ve fallen into our own little routine that suits us well.
- It’s taught me independence. This one is the biggie. I helped around the house at home, but when you no longer have the magic fairy (i.e. mum) to do things without you noticing, it makes you realise how tiring and time consuming running a house can be. But I’ve learnt to cook different meals and look after my boyfriend and I. It’s helped him learn to live with someone too – he’s a changed man!
- It’s given me direction. Since moving out, I’ve been more determined than ever with my blog and learning to drive, that I feel like a freshened up Emily. I feel mature for my age and ready to take on the next challenge – if I can do this, I can do anything.
Now onto being a bit of a Negative Nelson, but no rain, no flowers.
5 Things I’ve Loathed
- Homesickness. Oh my goodness the homesickness has eaten away at me sometimes. It’s just the fact of missing something, it’s such an overwhelming feeling that can lead to a long road of overthinking. I miss my dog and the hussle and bussle of a Saturday evening when mum’s friends are round and sitting in the garden having a chat. It’ll never go away, but I’ve managed way better than I thought. (My dogs though, I miss my dogs).
- Living where you don’t exactly want to live. I don’t want this to come across in the wrong way because I am very grateful to have a nice roof over my head that isn’t far from work. However, coming home to a house you can’t fully make your own and it not just being you and your partner has proven difficult at times.
- More outgoings. It’s a given that you can save more living at home, but now my outgoings have increased quite a bit, I’ve been much more conscious about how much is going into my savings each month. And as a plus to a negative point – I actually save more each month! My wage is higher here, but it’s painful dishing out electric and council tax, but that’s life.
- Having so much to do after work. I did take living at home for granted where dinner was on the table and lunch was made for the next day. I don’t mind these tasks at all really, but when you can only relax from 8pm each night it wears thin sometimes.
- Feeling a bit lost. It’s a scary thought knowing you probably won’t have the life back that you had before and can be upsetting. Since moving out, I worry about what’s next. Paying rent between the two of us would be so expensive, a mortgage is too big of a commitment, but then moving back home would be a bit of a loss of independence. It’s just a case of going with the flow.
So there we have 5 things I’ve loved and loathed about moving out. Who knows what the future holds, but moving out has taught me a lot and I’ve proven to myself I have a lot more strength and determination than I thought. I appreciate things SO much more now, which I am so grateful for. Moving out is a big achievement, no matter the circumstance. It’s damn difficult sometimes, but there are some really special moments. It’s something to be proud of. There is no shame in moving back home either – everything happens for a reason. If you too have moved out or are looking to move out, I would love to hear your thoughts on the topic down below!
Have a beautiful day. Until next time,