5 Ways To Easily Turn A Bad Day Around

Welcome to Week 4 of the ‘March is for Me’ series. A series bringing you 5 blog posts across each Wednesday of the month. The aim is to spend an entire month focusing on ourselves with self-love, self-care and positivity. Today’s post is brought to you by Emily from Planning With Em, with 5 Ways to Easily Turn a Bad Day Around.

Photo by Hybrid on Unsplash

Bad days suck, there’s no doubt about that, but here are some tips on how to turn a bad day around. Whether something bad has happened to make your day bad or you just woke up on the wrong side of the bed, bad days aren’t fun. However, I do stand by the quote “it’s a bad day, not a bad life” and believe you can turn any bad day around. 

‘I’ve struggled with depression for over 6 years, so I have had plenty of bad days in my time. Whilst I am doing much better mentally right now, I still have days when depression hits me hard. I wanted to share how I turn a bad day around on these days.’

Thank you to Emily for giving me the opportunity to write this post for her blog, I hope it will help anyone who is having a hard time or perhaps in a bit of a funk! 

Pause, Reflect, Accept 

Before I even try to combat a bad day with some of the things listed below, I think it’s really important to go through the process of pausing, reflecting and accepting. 

Take a moment to pause, maybe meditate if you like, and think about what you’re actually feeling. Are you feeling sad, anxious, angry? It’s important to take note of what you’re feeling so you can reflect on why you might be feeling this way and accept it. 

I know from experience that when you’re depressed, there doesn’t have to be a reason why you feel bad, you just do. But I do find that when I’m having a bad day, something has usually triggered it and I can identify at least one emotion that I’m feeling. 

It’s important to accept how you are feeling and not beat yourself up about it. If you can, take the day off from your usual activities, look after yourself and let’s turn this bad day around. 

Do Something That Makes You Happy

Okay before you click off the post because this one is so obvious, think about the last time you did something that made you happy. Like truly made you happy? I bet it’s been too long. 

Take some time to do something that makes you really happy. This can be literally anything (as long as it doesn’t harm you or anyone else obviously). For me, I love to paint, watch youtube/netflix and read. I don’t get much time to do this during the week normally so they’re my go to activities for when I’m having a bad day.

Turn Off Your Phone

When I’m having a bad day, I try to stay away from social media because it can perpetuate bad feelings. For me especially, doom scrolling on twitter can be really bad for my mental health. 

I like to have a social media detox regularly and if you want to know how my last one went, here’s a blog post about my week long social media detox! If you find social media makes you feel worse, have a day off of it!

Photo by Aki Tolentino on Unsplash

Clean Your Environment

They say, “clean environment, clean mind” and I wholeheartedly agree. I cannot stand having an untidy/unclean environment, it stresses me out so much! I understand that if you’re having a bad day, it can be hard to motivate yourself to get out of bed, let alone clean. But for me, cleaning my room is an essential part of my self care because it helps me feel better! 

If your room looks like a bomb hit it, then why not set a timer and take 10 minutes to tidy up and clean? You’ll be amazed how much you can get done in this time and you might even want to carry on once the time goes off!

Random Act Of Kindness

I don’t know about you, but doing something nice for others makes me feel so much better! I love helping others so it’s something I try to do regularly.

If you’re having a bad day, why not do a random act of kindness? For example, you could write someone you love a letter, support a small business or maybe even buy a stranger a coffee! 

That wraps up my 5 ways to turn a bad day around, I hope you found them helpful. Please remember that you are not alone and if you need help, reach out to someone you trust and talk to them. Things will get better and this too shall pass. 


Thank you so much to Emily for sharing this wonderful post for the March is For Me series, I have loved each instalment so far and hope you have too. In a world where you can be anything, why not be kind! Stay tuned for the last post in this series next Wednesday!

Until next time,

Emily x

Why We Compare Ourselves

According to the Cambridge Dictionary, comparison, by definition is ‘the act of comparing two or more people or things’ or ‘an examination of the differences between persons or things’. Today we’re going to explore deeper into the depths of comparison and the impact it can have on our daily lives.

Comparison is the thief of joy, yet it is just so easy to do.

We commonly compare our education, intelligence, homes, relationship status, fashion sense, employment status, and even what we read and eat. It doesn’t always have to come from a place of malintent, but does it truly do us any good to pit ourselves against one another – either publicly or in secret?

Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash

Does comparison achieve anything?

There is no right or wrong answer to this question. Personally, I find comparing myself to others quite detrimental to my own self-esteem. It can send my self-worth and motivation spiraling, so I do my best to avoid it.

I decided to research why we compare ourselves in the first place and here is what I found. A social psychologist named Leon Festinger explored the act of comparison and said that ‘people evaluate their opinions and abilities by comparing themselves to other people for two reasons: First, to reduce uncertainty in the areas in which they’re comparing themselves. And second, to learn how to define themselves.’ (The Jordan Harbinger Show). This concept is called the social comparison theory.

People can engage in upward or downward comparisons. Upward being with people we think are better than us, and downward being with people we think are worse off. The latter can make us feel better about ourselves, but what a toxic way that is to live. There is also the concept of self-evaluation and self-enhancement.

‘Self-evaluation occurs when someone looks for positive traits in himself based on the best person he compares himself with. Self-enhancement, on the other hand, occurs when someone questions which aspects of himself need to be improved in order to reach the level of goodness of the person he is comparing himself to.’ – (Psychology Notes HQ).

Photo by Glenn Carstens-Peters on Unsplash

How can comparison make us feel?

Comparison could be beneficial in that it may motivate you to develop yourself further or strive for that goal you’ve been putting off. For example with blogging, if I’m looking to improve my engagement and statistics, I may compare what I’m doing to a better-performing blog. This allows me to learn and improve my methods.  On the contrary, I don’t believe comparison as a whole is particularly healthy.  It can cause a judgemental attitude and may lead to destructive behaviours.

Personally, it can make me feel “behind” in my accomplishments, not intelligent enough and perhaps look at areas of my life negatively that I hadn’t worried about before.

I also asked on Instagram how comparing yourselves to others makes you feel, and here were the responses:

  • “Usually I’m not comparing myself in a good way which I’d love to know how to change!”
  • “Sometimes motivated to improve myself. Other times, my self-esteem plummets!”
  • “Usually pretty crap, even though I’m grateful for all I have, I still end up feeling rubbish”
  • “Inadequate”
  • “Inadequate, then again social media is as much a platform for user content as it is for advertising”

Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash

What can we do instead of comparing ourselves?

  • Be grateful for what we have and have achieved so far
  • If we’re going to compare, be reasonable about it. We don’t live any life other than our own, so how can we expect to be like other people when we have different incomes, responsibilities, opportunities etc that is often out of our control.
  • Instead of thinking the grass is greener on the other side, water the grass we’re currently on
  • Detox aspects of your life that are causing your comparisons
  • Channel your thoughts into motivation and drive

Becoming Minimalist have an excellent article which lists why we shouldn’t compare ourselves, and what we can do instead if you’d like to read more.

Social media can be a big culprit in kickstarting our comparisons. It can be a dark hole of engagements, baby announcements, new homes and new jobs, the list is endless. It is so key to remember that not everything is at it seems online. We see just snippets of people’s actual lives; their highlight reels.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to develop ourselves, but it does not have to be a competition in the meantime, or an internal battle about who is “better” and who is “worse”.

I’m really interested to hear your thoughts on the topic in the comments below. Thank you for reading!

Until next time,

Emily x

 

What is the ‘5 year plan’ and should you have one?

The notorious ‘five-year plan‘ question may send you into a cold sweat or be the easiest question you could answer. You may have first been asked this question during your final years in education or at a job interview. This is the question that would fill me with instant dread and pressure; are you really meant to know? Are you meant to be aiming for something in particular in 5 years? Do I just fall victim to societal pressures and say “job, house, kids”?

I’d like to disclaim that I am not totally against a 2/5/10 year plan – I am sure it holds importance for many people that actually find it useful and motivating. However, what about those that don’t have a 5-year plan? Do you not hire those that don’t have a suitable enough timeline planned out? What is the significance of 5 years? Theoretically, it is not a long time in the grand scheme of things.

What is there to plan?

  • A change in mentality and perspective
  • Career progression, or even career break
  • Housing situation
  • Relationship status
  • Travel destinations
  • Personal achievements i.e. skydive or learning a language
  • Business adventure
  • Children

The list truly is endless. Personally, I view my life as being one complicated stencil I’ve drawn around on a piece of paper. There will be lines that I will want to perfect and make them as neat as possible, but there will be lines where my hand is shaky and I accidentally go outside of the lines. However, at the end of it, I will be mostly content with what I have created.

Life is renowned for being unpredictable. There are days when it may feel like a huge boulder has crashed down in the middle of your path, making it difficult to work around, but not impossible. Acknowledging that life will always have its curveballs, should help a life plan seem less intimidating. Things go wrong, but there will always be a way to get back on track and dust yourself off again. It is almost guaranteed, that if you were to ask anyone who is 5 years older than you, if they have got to where they are by sailing their way through life – they will most likely say no.

What are some pros and cons to having a 5-year plan?

Pros:

  • Gives you goals to work towards, no matter how big or small
  • Allows you to prioritise your goals in terms of when you want to achieve them
  • Can keep you disciplined and on track
  • Hand in hand with the above; can force you to start something you have been putting off
  • It can be comforting

Cons:

  • You may feel pressured and rushed
  • Your plan may adhere more to stereotypical achievements by default
  • May cause a feeling of disappointment if you don’t hit certain milestones within a certain period
  • It can make room for comparisons with other people’s success
  • You may become too attached to the plan and opposed to change

Photo by Marten Bjork on Unsplash

The logistics of a 5-year plan are so personal to each individual. What might be a mountain to one person, is a molehill for another. It can be exciting to share your plans with others – I don’t believe the intention of a plan is negative. If you are surrounded by decent people, you should hopefully never feel belittled by what you have set yourself, you should have nothing but support and encouragement.

Personally, I choose to live life day-by-day. I will happily write a to-do list in the morning and can stick to it pretty well. Stretch it further than a weekly plan, and I will probably struggle to stay on track. My interests and motivation levels fluctuate too regularly for a long-term plan to sit comfortably in my head. Knowing what I want out of life is important, but the route to get there can be as sporadic and spontaneous as possible.

So in terms of being asked “where do you see yourself in 5 years?” in a job interview, the intention behind the question is probably to cover their own backs. Is this person looking to be in a completely different position in a few years to what they’ve applied for? Can we afford to train someone who sounds like they are going to leave soon? I understand why the question is asked, but it can be a tough cookie to crack if you are not a natural planner.

To conclude

A 5-year plan is exactly what you make of it. It can be as intense or as mild as you like. There is no obligation to know the answer to this question, but I do feel like it crops up quite often. It offers food for thought in many different ways. Planning what I think is my ideal plan, can allow me to spot pitfalls and genuinely think carefully about the routes I wish to take.

Avid organisers may thrive by setting their goals long into the future, and to that, I say hats off. There is not a right or wrong answer. It is admirable to see how we all cope and work our way through this journey. If you are keen to know how to create your own 5-year plan, there are many resources available to help.

“If the plan doesn’t work, change the plan but never the goal”

What are your thoughts on the concept of a 5-year plan?

Until next time,

Emily x

 

 

 

 

 

 

5 Ways to Keep Your Long Term Relationship Alive

Looking for ways to reignite the fireworks of a long-term relationship does not necessarily mean you are looking for relationship guidance or are at breaking point with your partner. When you spend a prolonged period of time with someone in particular, it’s easy to fall victim to routine and feel confused on how to spice things up again. Life has its ways of wedging itself into relationships like the third wheel nobody asked for. One day you might find yourself asking “what changed along the way?” or “why aren’t things the same as they were at the start?“.

These are completely normal and rational feelings to have. People grow every day, but growing alongside somebody else means putting in double the hard work. Romantic relationships are one of life’s most beautiful happenings when you are with the right person.

Think of relationships like a new car; they’re super exciting and shiny on the day you pick it up, but over the years you may notice the odd thing isn’t working like it should, so you take it to the garage to get fixed. This fixture may have been faulty and didn’t fix your car like you thought it would, or maybe it set you driving off into the sunset like the good old days. As long as you are willing to put the time and effort in to make it work, you will often be rewarded with the results.

So if you’ve been with your partner for what you would consider a long time, but things are feeling a bit flat, here are 5 ways to keep your relationship alive.

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2020 Come And Get Me

Another year ends and another one begins, nice to meet you 2020! I think a lot of us can agree that 2019 was over before it started, it’s felt like one of the quickest years of my life. It’s funny to think that I’m only 20 years old but this is my 3rd decade, and I’m loving every minute of it. I really do have a lust for life and a passion for creating the most fulfilling life I can for myself.

I have so many memories stored up and 2019 has definitely added to the collection. Back at the start of 2019, I wrote a post all about my goals for the year and continued to write “monthly reviews” so I could keep track ready for this exact post you’re reading now! I’m going to see what goals I achieved and what I’m aiming to achieve in 2020.

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November 2019 Review

HAPPY DECEMBER! It’s officially the start of the Christmas season (even though I was 100% thawing off the Michael Buble album in September) and that means another month has been and gone. November was a HEFTY one and I don’t think I’ve ever been so emotional! It’s been such a mix of a month and if I’m to be completely honest, I didn’t end the month feeling particularly happy, nor much like myself.

With change comes a wave of emotions, sometimes good, sometimes bad. I definitely had a mix of the two over the course of the month and I’m here to share what I got up to in November. Since January this year, I’ve written a post to summarise each month so that I can look back through them all at the start of 2020 and see how much has happened. I’m really glad I’ve been keeping track and I’m really keen to do the same next year.

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Chatty Tuesday: Sunshine Blogger Award

Good day to you and Happy Tuesday! We’re back with a chatty post, but this time something a little different! With many thanks for the nomination by Shannen, I bring to you my Sunshine Blogger Award post. Being nominated for awards such as these, make my insides feel all warm and gooey. What a lovely image. To gain recognition for simply doing my hobby each week really makes it all worthwhile when people enjoy what you write. The blogging community has its downsides, but the upsides outweigh them by a mile and allows you to connect with some beautiful people.

The rules of the Sunshine Blogger Award is to of course thank the blogger that nominated you and include a link to their blog. Then the fun task of answering their 11 questions begins before you can issue your own questions to your 11 nominations. Including the logo is a cute touch too! So without further ado, let’s get stuck in.

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April 2019 Review: I progressed?!

HOW are we here again, at another monthly review?! This year is absolutely flying by, which means the time has rolled around again to sum up how the previous month treated me. If this sort of post is new to you – I write reviews each month about how the month has gone and cross-check it against my overall goals for 2019. I think April showed the most progression for me so far. Things are falling into place, I’m less stressed, I’m wearing more smiles on my face and so I’m excited to share with you what I’ve been up to! Let’s get into it.

I blinked and April was over. It was a nice month with a beautiful bank holiday towards the end which meant Lewis (my boyfriend) and I could spend some nice time away visiting my family. My favourite day was when we took a late afternoon trip to the beach just my mum, her friend, Lewis and I. We grapped chips and watched the sunset before spending some pennies on the amusements (I won a squishy spider from the 2p machines, what a score). My mum and her friend are Zumba instructors so we made ourselves useful and filmed them performing a couple of routines in the sand. It’s all fun and games until I turn around and Lewis is holding 4 pairs of shoes, surrounded by the incoming tide.

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