Positive Affirmations and Tips for Anxiety

Welcome to Week 3 of the ‘March is for Me’ series. A series bringing you 5 blog posts across each Wednesday of the month. The aim is to spend an entire month focusing on ourselves with self-love, self-care and positivity. Today’s post is brought to you by Jessie Mills from Wanderer and Traveller, with her tips for coping with anxiety and her list of favourite positive affirmations. Click here for Part 2 with Kimberly Redway and her experience with meditation.

Photo by Max van den Oetelaar on Unsplash

Firstly I’d like to thank Emily for the opportunity to write a post for her March is for Me series! If there is anything I’ve learnt since leaving university is that self-care and self-love are so important when you are on your journey that is life. In the words of Ru Paul, “If you can’t love yourself how the hell can you love somebody else, can I get an Amen?”

So I wanted to share something I do daily that really sets me up for the day ahead. I’ve done this for a while now and I really feel it helps! Every morning without fail I look at positive affirmations. I also share my favourites on my Instagram story for other people to read and enjoy as well. So I’ve decided to share my favourite positive affirmations with you in this post to remind you just how important you are and that your journey is your own, you can take it as fast or as slow as you like because you are in charge. Zayn Maliks twitter bio once said “Enjoy the roller-coaster that is life” and he wasn’t wrong. You just have to remember that at the end of it all, you are the biggest love of your life. 

I also really suffer with anxiety and with the pandemic and lockdown I wanted to share some motives that I use to either calm myself down in the moment of a panic attack or when I can feel it building.

This is something I’m so proud of as I’ve really tackled some hurdles this lockdown within myself and my anxiety. I set out pretty early on in lockdown 1 not to put myself in the same situation I did previously and focus on getting my anxiety on lock. The previous situation was when I moved to Watford. I had no friends, no money and I couldn’t go out and meet people or do anything until I started working. I was home 24/7 and really fell into a pit, so I vowed this wouldn’t happen again as I saw lockdown as very much the same circumstance as the government started discussing it. Unable to go out and socialise or explore, feeling isolated.

Photo by Sasha Freemind on Unsplash

Coping Mechanisms

Some of these are really simple and I know not everything on this list will help or work for everyone, I also understand that not everyone works in the same way I do. We all have our own coping mechanisms, but if I can maybe enlighten people to some possible new methods then why not?

  1. Shift your focus and take some deep breaths. This one is always recommended (and as a smoker I was always pretty apprehensive). But if you can keep your heart rate and your breathing down, you’re already on your way to feeling calmer.
  2. Go for a run, do some yoga, go for a walk or do some physical exercise. It releases happiness endorphins into the body to lift you up, not bring you down. Plus you’ll feel better for it afterwards.
  3. Identify how you’re feeling and give yourself more emotional awareness. I have to give full credits to a close friend for this one. Don’t identify it as being anxious. Separate your feelings. Am I feeling excited? Am I feeling angry? Am I feeling awkward? Am I feeling lonely?
  4. Something I feel goes hand in hand with the point above, learn what triggers your anxiety, Why do I feel this way? Identify why you’re feeling the way you are. Is the circumstance making you feel uncomfortable? Are you around someone who is being unpleasant? Take a step back and take a look at where you are at and how its making you feel.
  5. Talk about it. Say it out loud, “I’m feeling anxious”. Don’t sit and let it consume you if you feel capable of doing so.
  6. Do whatever you feel you need to do to start your day off right. In the morning and put those anxious feelings at bay straight away. Don’t let it consume you right from the start.
  7. Throw yourself into and focus on something you love. Grab a book, work on your WIP, sit and binge watch TikTok’s, play your favourite gaming consoles, watch your favourite TV show, relax with a cuppa, have a nap, call a friend or see a friend.
  8. Set small daily goals and don’t put too much pressure on yourself to live the life you love and want to live. You are in charge.
  9. Write down how you’re feeling in a journal. Getting these thoughts out of your head can make it less daunting for you and help you to reflect later on.
  10. Practice acceptance. Your anxiety does not define who you are. You do not have anxiety because there is something wrong with you. Try and embrace the journey you’re going on, it won’t be with you forever and you can overcome this.

Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

Positive Affirmations

And now for some of my favourite positive affirmations, because you need to remember your worth;

“You are so wonderfully beautiful. So extraordinarily wonderful. So wildly unforgettable. So Incomparably and lovely you”.

“Make space for the magic you deserve”.

“You are stronger than your anxious thoughts”.

“I choose to let go of what doesn’t serve me”. 

“The highs and lows can still make for beautiful things”.

“There are things in life that are not in your hands and you are not supposed to have all the answers to all. But even here in the shades of your doubts and the unknown, know that you are meant to be here, you belong”.

“Not all storms come to disrupt your life, some come to clear your path”.

“You made it to another new day. That means you beat all the pains, worries & troubles of yesterday & all the yesterdays before. You are a fighter”. 

“Be soft with yourself, being human is a fragile thing”

And my all-time favourite;

“You may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but you don’t have to be. Tea has never apologised for not being coffee”.  

So here is to YOU. Embracing your wants and needs in life and following your path to feeling good, your achievements and how far you’ve come in life. Never forget;

You are the biggest love of your life. No one can tell you otherwise.

Jessie x


With HUGE thanks to Jessie for this wonderful guest post that I personally found so refreshing and helpful, I hope you enjoyed this week’s instalment of March is For Me. Stay tuned for week 4 next Wednesday.

Until next time,

Emily x

It’s Okay Not to Be Positive (All the Time)

I was debating writing a post like this; one with less purpose and fact, but more feeling. 2020 has just not been the one for many of us and I truly admire those that have managed to inject positivity into their day from the minute they wake up. I’ve always admired those people. Growing up, I had a terribly negative mindset, particularly a self-deprecating one. Very much glass-half-empty rather than half-full. I would see the negatives before the positives, and be too realistic for my own good.

Since getting older and experiencing more of the ‘real world’ we’re always told about, I do think my mindset has grown with me. I allow myself to see the positives in situations and can reassure myself that things aren’t that bad, or everything happens for a reason, so trust and let go. However, this attitude only stretches so far some days. I’m human after all, not a robot programmed to see the good in all things.

Eventually, I do think I forced myself into seeing the positives and telling myself that someone else always had it worse. It turned into a type of complex whereby I’d feel guilty for being negative and honest with my emotions because there’s always someone in a worse position. I’ve come to realise just recently that this is so toxic and we’re all allowed to feel what we feel.

Photo by freddie marriage on Unsplash

It’s fantastic to have perspective, but it’s not everything

Acknowledging our own privilege and situation compared to others is of course not a bad thing. Belittling our own thoughts and feelings, however, is not so good. In life, there will always be someone that we believe is in a worse position than ourselves, or even in a better position. It’s all about the balance of appreciating this and allowing ourselves to feel valid at the same time.

Particularly with the whole Covid situation, there’s never been more opportunity to compare ourselves to others. Who’s had a holiday cancelled? Who’s lost a job? Who’s struggled the most transitioning into working from home? I feel so guilty sometimes when I want to share a bit of negativity rather than positivity – in my hopes of keeping my social platforms as real as possible. Why should I feel frustrated and anxious, when since March I’ve had a full-time wage working my job from home, surrounded by my pets and family with my own car?

Because yes those things have kept me sane and stable, but I’ve also had a holiday and day trips cancelled, my driving test postponed twice (thankfully I passed in the end), I lost my dog I had for 12 years and I’ve felt quite stuck in which direction I’m headed in. These things have induced sadness, frustration and anxiety. Even writing this is making me feel a horrible sense of guilt. This is because people have lost their jobs, family members, been lonely without help. I completely acknowledge the hardship others are experiencing, but I need to stop invalidating my own feelings and allow myself to be negative.

Is there a stigma attached to being negative and honest online?

Personally, I do think so to some extent. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good positive morning tweet or motivating insta post. But on the days where this is all I see, I feel like a dark cloud who doesn’t want to rain on everyone’s parade, so I swiftly move along and wait till the sun comes back. I don’t want to be the person to dampen someone’s day, but by sharing my honest feelings, I could be helping someone more than I know. Helping them to feel less alone, less frightened to share that their day is not so great either.

I love realism. Obviously, I don’t love knowing people are having a hard time, but I always appreciate their honesty. We can’t be our best selves all the time, it’s just not possible.

Photo by Abigail Faith on Unsplash

I’m not sure there was much point to this…

Truly, I just fancied a ramble. A bit of chatty honesty and a chance to open up a discussion. I wanted to share the fact that you are well within your right to feel what you want to feel, and when. There is no rulebook and we are all in this together (will I ever not think of High School Musical?!).

Despite social media often being a negative and scary space due to what’s going on in the world, that doesn’t mean we should ever feel obligated to stay quiet when we just want to share our true feelings. It’s healthy to be open with ourselves and others, and heck, it might even benefit us in the long run. Life is not simple and nor are we. Not everyone wants to share their not-so-sunny days, and there is nothing wrong with that either.

If sharing a down day on social media will lift even the tiniest weight off your shoulders, then DO IT. Do what makes you feel most comfortable and happy, I can guarantee there will always be a pair of eyes/ears waiting. I think the blogging community is fantastic for genuine support and friendship, no matter the following you have or whether you’ve spoken before.

It’s okay not to be okay. And it’s okay to share that.

What are your thoughts? Until next time,

Emily x

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ways To Relax During Lockdown

Lockdown; A security measure taken during an emergency to prevent people from leaving or entering a building, thanks dictionary.com. It doesn’t sound pleasant by definition and most certainly is not pleasant in reality. Self-care (and the importance of it) has become more prominent over the last few years, and it’s needed now more than ever. Whether working from home or not, it’s important to find the best ways to relax that suit us best.

We’ve spent a lot of time not being able to escape our four walls. It’s understandably going to take a toll on our mental health. It’s not like booking a week off of work where you’re able to visit family and friends and actually do things and go places. This is not an easy time, so I think it’s important we’re still taking time out to just allow ourselves to truly relax. If you’re stuck on ways to wind down after a long day of doing lots or doing nothing, then I hope this post offers some helpful ideas! Thank you to a lovely bunch of bloggers that also contributed to this post, sharing the ways they enjoy relaxing during lockdown.

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Taking Things For Granted

2020 has taken a turn of events I don’t think any of us could have predicted. We’re living amongst a pandemic, the first I have ever experienced in my lifetime. The UK has been locking down over the past few weeks; shops and fast food chains have closed their doors, the high streets are empty, we’ve witnessed panic buying, social distancing, working from home – and more lifestyle-changing adjustments.

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The Sunday Series: Social Media with Shannen Claire

Happy Sunday everyone, I hope you’ve all had a wonderful week. The time has rolled around for the second instalment of The Sunday Series! If you missed the first one which was about navigating adult friendships with The Im Life, you can view that here. The topic of choice today is social media, and this is in collaboration with Shannen from www.shannenclaire.co.uk

Social media can either feel like a safe space, or somewhere that is discouraging and maybe even intimidating. But social media should be a place in which we feel comfortable, free to be ourselves, and special. It should be somewhere where we can celebrate individuality, and build a supportive community. Despite the negative aspects of social media, there are many positives. We should see the good in utilising it as a platform to share our passions and who we are.

Let’s celebrate our differences and uplift each other, encouraging one another to achieve our goals”.

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Versatile Blogger Award

XIn place of this week’s Chatty Tuesday – is my nomination for the Versatile Blogger Awards! I was ever so kindly nominated by Charlotte from https://realtimetotalk.wordpress.com/ and Millie from https://msblife.com/ who are two lovely ladies I’ve grown very fond of! Twitter has allowed me to connect with some really genuine bloggers and I am so happy to have made some friends, which is one of the main reasons I started this whole thing in the first place.

If you’re yet to come across the Versatile Blogger Awards, then allow me to share with you what this kind act of appreciation is all about! It’s a blogger to blogger award that allows people to acknowledge some really amazing people and blogs. There is no competition or fancy prize, just the satisfaction of knowing you can brighten someone’s day. To me, that’s the best prize!

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5 things that empower me as a woman

Empowerment, by definition, is “the process of becoming stronger and more confident, especially in controlling one’s life and claiming one’s rights.” 

I can pair this definition so well to the change I’ve seen in myself over the last couple of years since leaving school. I can physically feel how much more confident I am, as well as mentally feeling the strongest I ever have. So, I wanted to take this opportunity to highlight just 5 things that continually empower me as a woman and allow me to lead my best life as this 5’9 ginger lady.

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